Learning Outcome 1

The paper I feel that I have made effective global and local edits is my Multimodal Essay (Writing Prompt 2). The focus of this essay was to read and annotate three texts: Yo-Yo Ma’s Necessary Edges: Arts, Empathy, and Education, Jonah Lehrer’s The Future of Science…Is Art?, Steven Pinker’sScienceIsNotYourEnemy.”For this prompt, our goal was to argue our opinion for what the ideal relationship between art and science looks like inside your projected career path or current discipline. Focus your opinion on the relationship you feel that your discipline of interest should maintain with the arts. Between my free draft and my final draft of this prompt, you can see that I have demonstrated several examples of global and local edits. In my free draft: Writing Prompt 2- Free Draft you can see green text, which are the changes that were made. Word count is something I have struggled with all through high school and coming into my freshmen year of college. This is a skill I wanted to work on and master before leaving this course. I wanted to master cutting down my word count by reviewing each paragraph sentence by sentence and cut out any unmeaningful words that hold no importance to the idea that each sentence was trying to get across. As you can see in my free draft, my word count is 2,206, although while working towards my English- Arts and Sciences Essay 2 FINAL DRAFT, I was able to cut my word count down to 1,882. I would define this skill as a global edit because focusing on sentence structure allows you to reform the whole frame of the message that the essay is giving to the reader. Revising each sentence allows for an easier flow for the audience and minimizes the risk of taking a detour on your claims and possibly losing the attention of the audience. Another global edit that is demonstrated throughout the work of this essay is how you can see between the two versions of the essays that I was not afraid to move paragraphs around. Before this course, English 110, it would have been way out of my comfort zone to cut and paste paragraphs into new areas to allow the flow of the essay to become smoother. A specific change that I made between the two versions was placing my paragraph on Yo-Yo Ma right after my introduction paragraph in the final draft instead of leaving it in the middle of my essay. The reason I find this to be an important change is that in my introduction paragraph I address a lot of Ma’s ideas and it makes sense for me to continue talking about Ma in the second paragraph and continue that flow instead of cutting Ma’s ideas off completely and waiting until the middle to readdress them. Some local ideas I have made between the two versions is spelling errors and run on sentences. I felt that making local revisions to my final draft was so important especially since there are so many tools that can be used to solve these issues. During this essay I did some research and found an app that I found works the best for me, it is called Grammarly. I saw this app being advertised a lot and I felt that I should give it a try. For my final version of my prompt 2 essay, Grammarly helped me fix run-on sentences by editing my punctuation, correct spelling errors and helped me find different words to reduce the repetition of the same words over and over again. Another example I would like to give to demonstrate the progress on global and local edits is the Sr. Essay Final Draft- Lacey Cheney that I wrote in high school. While reviewing this paper, I have highlighted a few main points that I want you to focus on. The parts of the essay that I have highlighted are my introduction sentences for each paragraph. The reason I am bringing these introduction sentences to your attention is that after taking English 110, I would not identify these sentences as a proper introduction sentence. In my senior essay, I went straight to the claim I wanted to make without introducing any idea beforehand. As you can see in my final draft of my prompt 2 in English 110 I properly introduce an idea with either background knowledge or a real-life example that I have to help introduce my claim before jumping into what my claim directly is. Here is an example from my final draft of this:NHIAA is the New Hampshire Institute of Art.  I have several classmates from high school that now attend this school. Their majors range from ceramics to photography and included in their curriculum, is science-based courses, like Anatomy and Physiology. Steven Pinker, a Canadian-American cognitive psychologist and popular science author, would argue against the NHIAA curriculum. Pinker would disagree with combining the studies of science and art because he believes that art is error-prone and has nothing in common with the sciences.” You can see that I give a real life example that I have witnessed in my life to help lead up to my claim and before I add in Pinker’s ideas on this topic. This is a perfect example of how I have grown dramatically with my global edits.